


Jyoti

by AnubisWrites



Series: Ramayana Musings [2]
Category: Hindu Religions & Lore, Ramayana - Valmiki, सिया के राम | Siya Ke Ram
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27523141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnubisWrites/pseuds/AnubisWrites
Summary: Jyoti : Divine FlameA flame can light up a room and chase away the darkness of sadness. A flame can light up ways and warn you. A flame can grow and consume entire forests.
Relationships: Rama/Sita (Ramayana)
Series: Ramayana Musings [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1994923
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	Jyoti

**Author's Note:**

> A Diwali special! Wishing you all a very Happy Diwali if you celebrate, or a great day nonetheless!! Enjoy! <3

_Splish... Splash..._

"... and then Urmila hid all her sweets from Kirti for the rest of the week." Sita ended the anecdote, and they both laughed at the childhood antics of the Mithila sisters.

Ram and Sita had snuck away from Lakshman's constant watch to spend some time at a nearby lake. The cool water, the little fishes occasionally tickling their feet, the soft grass beneath them; it was a perfect night.

Sita had adorned her hair with the flowers Ram had picked out for her. Most were small delicate things, some were blooming giants, and quite a few had put up a fight and hurt Ram with their thorns. Sita had bandaged his fingers immediately, silently telling him all the while to never even dare to do this again. 

It was Amavasya night, and the stars did not twinkle strongly enough. She noticed him trying to look at the flowers and teased, "You've already looked at them all day!" And he looked away from her hair to her eyes, replying, "And I always wish to see you, my Sitae."

As if hearing his words, there was a slight rustle in a nearby bush. They both turned to the sound and found -

"Ram...", Sita whispered with a smile, while Ram was still awed at the sight. His child-like wonder made her smile even more.

Fireflies flew all around them, glimmering over the lake, glowing on the grass, and illuminating them both.

Ram turned to look at her, her face glowing with the twinkling lights and joy. And, for the thousandth time, he felt blessed to have her in his life. 

They looked at their reflections in the water, both smiling at this unexpected gift from the forest. Entwining their fingers, she kept her head on his shoulder. And moving closer, he rested his head on hers.

* * *

Sita gently rocked Kush in her lap and lulled him to sleep. The infants, with their own sleep cycle, had finally dozed off after many efforts. 

Kush had grabbed her veil, and she looked at his sleeping form in mild disapproval. Then laughing quietly, she gently opened his fist, one finger at a time, and gently kept him beside Luv.

Sitting straight again, she looked out the open door of the cottage. And... and saw a couple sitting under the tree in front. Her throat tightened as she saw herself... and Ram. He was braiding her hair, and whispering compliments, while she was blushing.

"Sitae...", he said, looking at her dreamily.

Shocked, she averted her eyes from the door to look out the window. A little flame caught her attention. Someone was lighting up diyas around the ashram for the night.

_"The sight of you is repugnant to me as a lamp is to one whose eye is diseased."_

How easily he had said those words, not even thinking about how they would break her heart instantly. 

During all the time they had spent together, and during all her time in the Ashoka Vatika, she had trusted him. She had trusted him to love her, to respect her, and to trust her. Now that broken trust lay around her as shattered glass pieces, hurting her with every step she took. 

She closed her eyes and tried not to wonder. Tried not to wonder where he went. Where her loving Ram from under the tree had gone, to leave the cold-hearted Ram of the battlefield in his place. Where her caring husband had gone, to leave the ruthless husk of a man in his place.

She started to sob, but heard sobbing much louder than hers. Luv - Kush cried for their mother in the dark of the night, scared and alone.

Sita took a deep breath, wiped her tears away, and opened her eyes. Despite the moisture left behind, they had lost a bit of their shine. She had lost a bit of her love. She smiled and picked up Luv - Kush in each of her arms.

"There there, sweethearts," she whispered, gently rocking them, "Ma is right here." 

* * *

"SITAE!", he screamed, an arm reaching out into thin air. 

Ram woke up in his bed, drenched in cold sweat, panting, and terrified. _"It's just a nightmare. She's right here."_ , he reassured himself. But as he looked to his side for comfort, he was reminded of how his worst nightmare had come true. 

She was not here. Not anymore. 

Clutching the cold empty blankets beside him, he tried to catch his breath. Even the silk felt rougher than the sharpest rocks, and all his senses were on fire. 

When the buzzing in his mind had faded away a bit, he heard the celebrations outside. Temple bells, aartis, laughter; they were all in equal measure. He took a deep breath to steady himself. Then he shakingly stepped out of his bed, to walk towards the balcony. 

As he stepped out from the pitch - black darkness of his chamber, the bright lights stunned him for a moment. He mirthlessly laughed.

It was Deepawali night.

The night of their return from Lanka. The night when people were happy to see them together. The night when they were happy, together. 

_'The victory of good over evil.'_ How hollow those words sounded now. There was no victory. The day she had left was the day they had all been defeated.

As he put his hands on the railing, he saw the ring. Made from the gem she had sent back with Hanuman, it always reminded him of her, then and now. He took it off and looked at it more closely. Cracks ran through the once-beautiful gem, deep and destructive. He clasped it in his fist and backed away from the edge.

 _"What for?"_ , he thought, as the lights grew brighter and he closed his eyes. Blood trickled out from the fist which held the gem, now shattered and sharp.

The sounds of the celebration grew louder and louder and the lights brighter and brighter as he fell to his knees. He clutched his head to drown it all out, pulled at his hair to _just make it go away_ , but the noise only seemed to dig deeper and deeper and deeper. 

It was all quite for a moment, and his breath hitched. Tears flowed freely as a shout resounded through the air. 

"AYODHYAPATI MAHARAJ RAM KI!"  
"JAI!"

He cried her name, "SITAE! SITAE!"

"MARYADA PUROSHOTTAM RAM KI!"  
"JAI!!"

But the wailing of a husband was drowned out by the roar of a kingdom. 

**Author's Note:**

> Translations :
> 
>   * Ashoka Vatika - the garden where Sita was kept while she was in Lanka 
>   * Amavasya - new moon 
>   * Diya - lamps made of baked mud 
>   * Aarti - a ritual where songs are sung and light is offered to the dieties. The songs sung are also called "aarti". 
>   * the two shouts - 
>     * "hail Ram, the king of Ayodhya!" 
>     * "hail Ram, the most ideal man!" 
> 



End file.
